The way I present myself is not the way I always was. There was a time, more so during the period of courtship between me and my husband, when both us had to go through a lot of ups and downs. My husband was desperately looking forward to get a stronghold in his entrepreneurship; I was desperately helping him with my bits so that he did not get bogged down. It’s not that I never thought of losing it out. Both of us at times had thoughts of giving it up, but soon we overcame those negative thoughts. And here are we – a happy family, after all those hard days. It has been possible for us just because we managed to shrug off the negative thoughts that occasionally crept in during those days. How did we manage it? It was simply by following some very elementary steps or to be clearer, simply by finding answers to certain questions.
Here they are!
Is it just my opinion or is it going to happen in reality?
Well, this was a question that cropped up in my mind during those early days, whenever I saw my husband with drooping down shoulders. I used to get confused by seeing that, and I often asked myself, “Is he just not going to make it? He has given up for sure – all is lost!” However, the very next moment I would ask myself, “Come on, this is not the fact! It’s just your opinion. You can’t judge him like that – wait till the end to see reality!” And that’s it, within a very few days I used to see him upping his ante with a new vigor! So that was the answer that helped me get over my downtrodden psyche and get away with my pessimistic thoughts.
Am I wrong?
Again, this is another question I used to ask myself, whenever those off-putting thoughts crossed my mind. I used to explore all the other possibilities, evaluating the feasibilities of each of them. Now this always gave me better ideas, and helped me keep those depressing thoughts at bay.
Why am I so sure about the conclusion that I have arrived at?
At times, like any other people, I used to arrive at a conclusion, which used to leave me utterly frustrated and disgusted. Then I used to tell myself, “Come on! What is this? Are you God? How can you be so sure about the conclusion? It’s not a gospel after all! This magically swept off all the downbeat thoughts, and I had renewed hopes. Surprisingly, all the sad endings I had imagined in my mind turned out to be false, and then I learned to pooh-pooh all these negative stuffs, and that helped in a long way!
What are the assumptions that I am making?
Majority of the conclusions you arrive at are made out of some or other assumptions. At least that’s what happened in my case. The assumptions were not correct on most of the occasions. That happens always. This is because these are basically made out of reasoning somebody else’s mind or actions. Hence, these assumptions do not always have access to facts. Do not go by these assumptions. They will mislead you, as they used to do to me – at least initially.
What are the evidences to support my thoughts and assumptions?
Yes!! That is yet another very important thing that you must pay heed to! Assuming or imagining things is not enough! You must be able to back them up with strong and credible evidence. If you cannot do so, there is no point of those baseless thoughts. They will only give indulgence to the depressing thoughts. Hence, if and when you are not able to support your thoughts with strong evidence, just give them up, and fill up your mind with affirmative thoughts that will give you new hopes and aspirations.
What is the worst case scenario?
This is the only question perhaps that is worth thinking. You need to imagine about the worst case scenario that you might face, and you need to chalk out your plans accordingly. When you find that you can make plans out of the worse case scenarios that will automatically negate the negative thoughts.
So that’s it, friends!! Be rational and see your spirits shoot up!